Pretty Vacant
by for you to notice
Summary: Make me sound special, and maybe I'll come down. Maria Mena. Marissa Cooper's falling apart.
1. Default Chapter

_Not a story for Marissa lovers, not really even for Marissa haters. Just for people interested in a different idea. This is going to be like a ficlet, four chapters, one from a different point of view. Read. I think it's interesting, because Marissa interests me sometimes. I'd like to think she's deeper than she seems. I still hate her sometimes, though. But this is making me like her more. She's confused. Also, I don't believe in most of these labels. I like The Sex Pistols, The Clash, Nirvana, and also Ryan Cabrera. It's just to add to her desperateness. Let me know your opinion._

Delicate.

That had been what Mrs. Fisher had called her on the fourth day of seventh grade. Holly had brought Marissa home to watch some movies, and Mrs. Fisher thought Marissa was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. Glamorous, elegant, breathtaking, and...delicate. Marissa Cooper had never wanted to be seen as delicate.

_"Don't ask us to attend  
cause we're not all there.  
Oh don't pretend 'cause I don't care  
I don't believe illusions cause too much is real  
So stop your cheap comment  
cause we know what we feel  
Oh we're so pretty."_

The Sex Pistols understood her better than her own mother. Even her father when he came home late nights, kissed the woman he said was her mother, patted her on the head, and walked off to his office. The Sex Pistols with English accents and I-don't-care-because-I'm-British hair and jackets over bare chests. They somehow got her. She didn't care about shells, Marissa Cooper just wanted to break away from her mother but still be welcome back to her world when she chose to be.

_"We know what we feel."_

She knew who she was; well, she knew who she wanted to be. All at the age of twelve. She wanted to be accepted as real. Holly accepted that she was punk rock when she came to school once with her hair chopped up to her shoulders in the ninth grade. Summer just laughed and threaded her fingers through the uneven ends.

"Whatev, Coop. I just wonder if that'll match the Versace we bought last week."

Marissa loved how when she shook her head, her hair felt so light and tiny wisps would brush up against her cheek.

"Doesn't matter, Sum, I'm pretty vacant, and I don't care," Marissa replied, a huge grin on her face.

Summer laughed again. "All right, Coop, rock on."

But she hadn't fit in with anyone except the crowd she watched. The skaters, the rockers, the 'I'm-too-cool-to-care' people, the grungers. They all hated her. She'd heard "poser' a few dozen times when she wore her British 'punkers' on her chest. The cheerleaders, the surfers, and the jocks all said she was punk rock, deff. Luke, the only freshman to make varsity water polo, put his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

"I think you look beautiful, babe."

She smiled and imagined the rolling of eyes from the group she wanted to say she hung with. The misfits. The Seth Cohens.

He had actually talked to her. He had taken her aside one night at a barbeque his parents had welcomed her family to. He had whispered words that she fell into.

"Marissa, I don't know what you're trying to prove, but...it isn't working. I'm sorry if you want to be something, but I mean, what you want to be, you're not. It's just the way it is."

"Shut up, Cohen. Who asked you?"

"Yeah, that. Just...put down the act. It's not 'cool.'" He had used finger quotes that she had seen through the rest of the week until she had made an appointment with Celeste and gotten bangs and extensions put in. And the next day, at school, she wore the Versace top she had bought with Summer. And that 'phase' of her life, as Julie liked to call it, was over. She lost patience with The Sex Pistols. Her friends were all about R&B and rap. So she lost herself in that world the best she could, suddenly extremely unsure of who she was.

"I listen to the same music as Marissa Cooper? I think I have to kill myself."

She shot him a look. It all came flooding back. Seth Cohen really was a little punk, and not the kind she had wanted to be. Ryan had smiled at her, and he had believed her when she said she was angry. Luke used to always smile and say how could she be angry? He'd give her everything and make it better. Pinky swear.

And when Ryan had left her once and once again, it was over. No one knew Marissa Cooper, and she just wanted to slap them all. No one would believe she had problems and pain in her life because she was pretty, she was skinny, she was rich, she had the right people wrapped around her fingers. She did not know how lucky she was. That's why she distanced herself in the last year.

There had been DJ, a guy that didn't fit into any of the categories because he was lacking one of the criteria needed to be a Harbor School royal. He wasn't rich. Whatever. That had been a mistake. He still fit into every other category he needed to be cool. But in Newport, it was either all or nothing. Like Seth and Summer. She had everything; he had nothing. They both had their places and they found each other. That was it. Marissa got that. She still didn't want the punk that didn't like her to be with her best friend. Summer should get a guy with everything and become a trophy wife. That's what she was built to become. Marissa would've been able to deal with that. But now she was all 'The Walkmen are cool,' and 'there was this song Cohen played for me, 'Pretty Vacant?' You like that song, right Coop? It was pretty cool, huh, Coop? Coop?'

Shut up, Summer. You don't know punk rock just because you heard a song that you thought was 'pretty cool.' You don't get to take a guide into the punk rock world. Nuh-uh. Sorry. Go find an investment banker.

But Summer had stuck with her. So she owed her. She didn't hate her either. She really loved her sometimes. Summer was still around when Alex had been there. Everyone else just kind of made their distance, and Marissa was finally distancing herself from the beautiful people. Not Summer, though. When Summer had something in her head, she stuck with it, and she was the last link Marissa had to the only people that had ever called her 'punk rock.' Cohen still didn't like her much, though, and she had made her peace with that. He was a loser anyways.

Ryan had even left her. He hadn't fit into most of the Harbor qualities, so Marissa had deemed him worthy. But now he was all Lindsay, and Lindsay was one of the biggest preps you could find. Not a beautiful person, a member of the in crowd, but she wore sweater vests and played in the school's band. Yeah. Prep.

So Marissa had all this hate built up for everyone, Summer for staying, Seth for not caring, Lindsay for being perfect, Ryan for Lindsay-ing. Then Alex came. Alex was this girl from heaven with beautiful people worthy looks, but a screw you attitude anyway. Typical she went for Cohen first.

But Cohen couldn't handle her. He wasn't really that strong-willed. He was more of a grunger than a punk rock prince. Grungers wore plaid and moaned and groaned. Alex was tougher than that. Alex made Marissa a misfit. Alex was attractive, and she was real. Marissa needed real.

So she started to use Alex to depend on. She would call Marissa on her problems; tell her to cut it out, because it wasn't that way at all. She made Marissa stop using labels, not that she would've around Alex anyways. So when Alex had offered her a way in, she had taken it. She would finally not fit in to people's expectations. And Alex let her depend on her.

But Alex had gotten frustrated, and that made Marissa frustrated. Alex had wanted to calm down and slip into a realm of normal. Stuff that other people, other couples, had. Marissa didn't want that. She didn't like that the group she had been trying to fit in for forever wasn't really that different from her beautiful people that she had finally distanced herself from. Everyone wanted to be happy. She just thought that the misfits had a more intense happy, but in the end; these people were just as boring, droll, and lame as the beautiful people. So Alex was over.

And then Ryan had started talking to her again. At first, she was certain he hated her, but he talked to her again nonetheless. And then Cohen had started talking to her too. He wanted her to be with Ryan so she would hang out with them again. Cohen and Ryan were close, so if she was close with Ryan, she'd be close with Cohen. And he knew that, but he still pulled her towards Ryan. And no matter his intentions, maybe Cohen didn't really hate her.

Maybe she was finally fitting in with the select few that she actually liked.

Not that she particularly liked Cohen, because it's an unwritten law that if someone dislikes you, you _have_ to dislike them back.

But Ryan had left that prep.

Summer had done the whole water polo player thing, without actually _doing_ the water polo player. So at least Marissa could know that Summer was definitely not as much a misfit as Marissa was. Summer could still get the jocks and the surfers, she just chose the skater. Marissa could deal with that.

Maybe she could be happy.

Maybe things would go back to being the way they should be. The Brains, The Brawn, The Boobs, The Beauty. Marissa still should be The Brains, but that would leave Seth with The Beauty, and that was laughable.

She still had her group back surrounding her now.

Because even The Sex Pistols didn't want to be lonely.


	2. Summer

It's Coop.

It doesn't matter what you throw at her or what _anyone_ says about her, because it's just...Coop.

Ever since Summer had been in second grade, she could depend on her, because Coop always had a reply to everything, and a smile for every occasion.

Even now, Summer supposed she saw Marissa as some sort of Lara Croft.

Damn Cohen, Summer didn't mean to compare the best, most perfect girl in the world to a video game character. Granted, Angelina Jolie played her in the movie, so maybe that made it okay.

Marissa had always had to handle everything, and she did it with a supermodel's grace and a fight in her eyes. When Summer was twelve, she had nothing that even came close to that. Marissa would protect her from everything; Marissa who loved her father. Marissa who was on student council and the swim team. Marissa who never thought designer clothes made the woman, but still wore them when she could, because, as she said, "You get a lemon, you may as well juice it."

Summer had never got that, but she laughed when Coop said it, because she'd start laughing or nodding solemnly. Coop had an answer for everything.

Until Mexico. More like...until Chino.

And that was mean, because Ryan had nothing to do with it. And he was a great guy, so Summer shouldn't be blaming anything on him.

But this rugged boy from Chino comes tearing in, Marissa gets interested, and suddenly she doesn't want to share secrets with Summer so much.

Maybe Ryan would've been better off with Summer in the long run.

But that was a lie, because she was with Cohen. And Cohen made a lot of it better too. Except for Coop. Coop didn't like Cohen. Summer knew that. Cohen didn't like Coop. Summer yelled at him for that. He never actually said it, but he still didn't want Marissa to hang out with them so much, because "she brings the party _down_."

And obviously there had to be some sort of tension, considering they _lived next door_ to each other for, like, ever, and they denied it, but there must've been _some_ sort of contact, no matter how brief. Maybe Coop and Cohen were in _love_. Ha. Yeah, of course, Romeo and friggin Juliet. The Valley was getting way too soap opera-y, and it was affecting her common sense.

Recently, though, it had gotten worse. It wasn't just Ryan, it wasn't Cohen. Coop just...wasn't interested in the things she used to be. She worried too much about what people thought of her. She was the queen of Newport Beach; she didn't _have_ to worry. But suddenly she tried on twelve outfits, each only slightly different, and asking Summer what she thought. Summer got into it sometimes, but often, Marissa just looked...weird. Not even good weird. Like...no one Summer had ever seen before.

But whatever, Summer wasn't really that shallow. It wasn't just her clothes. Coop wanted to get away from everyone, her mom, her dad, her sister, Summer. She focused on one thing, and that was starting to become a pattern. First Ryan, then Oliver, then Ryan again, and then...well, she focused on hating everyone, then Alex, now...it was all up in the air again. Marissa needs...like, a hobby or something, and maybe Summer would finally get to see her at least, like, once a day.

At least now Summer had Cohen. He filled up a lot of the rest of the day she used to have to think. When Zach was at practice, or dinner, or all of the rest of it, Summer would just think. And she would worry. About Coop, about Cohen, about Ryan, anything she could think of. Cohen talked, so she didn't have to worry about crying alone with her thoughts anymore. Marissa was still seemingly avoiding her, though.

Maybe it was because of Alex. Cause...Summer was a girl. And all of a sudden Coop's into girls. Maybe she felt awkward or something around Summer no matter how not big a deal Summer said it was. Maybe that was it.

Or maybe it was Ms. Cooper. Cooper-Nichol. Like, Ms. Cooper might be _stopping_ Marissa from seeing Summer! Maybe it was all a plot. A plot by Ms. Cohen who didn't _really_ ever like her, Mr. Cohen who was looking out for his son, Mr. Nichol who just looked at Summer as some ass his grandson was getting, and the obvious Ms. Cooper. Cooper-Nichol.

Although, there was also the chance that Marissa was just, like, depressed. And she didn't want to be around Summer because she thought Cohen was right and she really did "bring the party down." Maybe Coop thought she wasn't good enough because of all the hell she thought she put everyone through.

Which is ridiculous, because it wasn't her fault, it was that Chino chick's fault.

Theresa.

She really was a bit of a pain in the ass.

She took away Ryan which totally screwed up Marissa _and_ Cohen, and suddenly, Summer was second. She wasn't nearly as important as Ryan, and she obviously couldn't make _anyone_ feel better. Marissa was all self destructive and Cohen was all...well, he wasn't really anything, because he wasn't really there at all. Summer had felt so powerless as she watched all the people she cared about fall apart.

Summer knew Ms. Cohen really didn't hate her. She could tell from the few times she had seen her in those three months. The first time, Ms. Cohen had even given her a hug. It had been at the Cooper-Nichols' and it had just been in passing, Marissa humming some song over Summer's shoulder, and Ms. Cohen just walking in. She had had these deep sad eyes, the kind of eyes Summer had only ever seen on Coop, and she had just hugged her. Marissa had asked her what that was all about, which was pretty miraculous, because Marissa wasn't noticing many things lately.

But now, Cohen said he had this master plan. He was going to get them all back together, and it actually had a chance because Marissa was smiling again. Whenever Ryan would look at her, her eyes would light up and she would do basically whatever he wanted. Maybe Cohen was onto something.

Sometimes, Summer thought it might not be fair for Ryan though.

Which is such a horrible thing to think, but Summer still thought it. Sure, Ryan was all happy when he was with Coop, which is why Cohen wanted them back together, but he also seemed always on an edge. Always worried. Always scared. Always watching Marissa. And when he had been with Lindsay, he had had all these problems, but he still didn't look scared. He was sad, sometimes, but not scared. She made him feel safe. Coop just made him nervous.

But Summer wasn't like Cohen, and she didn't even want to get into other people's business. She had her own things to worry about. And she had this annoying way of believing in fate. So...if Coop and Ryan got back together, well, good for them. If not, then...Cohen would have to deal with it. Coop would _have_ to deal with it. Maybe Ryan would deal with it, maybe he wouldn't care. Summer thought Marissa was terrified that it would be the second option.

Because love's opposite isn't hate. It's indifference.

_So there's my darling Summer. I love how she thinks. Although, I think this fic's going to bring out the dark, hard to deal with traits of everyone. And speaking of dark and hard to deal with, y'all really should go rent American Beauty. Great acting (Peter Gallagher gives a great performance) and an amazing director. Whatever, random thought, but true. Do it. Ryan's chapter is coming soon I hope._


	3. Ryan

_Just Seth left after this. None of the darling O.C. belongs to me. Peace..._

Things would be so much easier if she wasn't so goddamn beautiful.

Ryan was confused. He didn't need this, he didn't want any of this, he didn't _ask _for _any_ of this.

Marissa just kept pulling him back, and sometimes he just...didn't...want. It.

She was beautiful. Yes. But Ryan liked to think he was a little deeper than that. She was...captivating. Hypnotizing. It was so easy to get lost in her and not be able to come up for air until she threw you into...well, Chino.

But she was more than that. Obviously. He kept going back to her for some reason. Because, Summer was beautiful, but he wasn't building Trojan horses for her. _Julie_ was beautiful, but he still didn't understand how Luke could've done that. Well, yeah, but he didn't understand how Luke could've gone _back_ to do it _again_.

Marissa just...she needed to be saved. Maybe he had a hero complex, that's what everyone said. But Marissa...she needed help. She needed a superhero; she _needed_ someone with a superhero complex. She needed someone who would keep coming back.

He could still remember what it was like to be with her. He'd want to lie on her dad's couch, watching the ceiling, and stroking her skin for the rest of his life. His thumb's favorite place was the skin right behind her right ear, and he had missed it. His thumb had, at least. She didn't usually want to just lie still though. She wanted to see people, she wanted to laugh, she wanted to get his shirt off. She didn't know the definition of just being...comfortable. Except for when she was sleeping. When she was asleep, she was the girl of his dreams. The perfect, unbelievable, Victoria's Secret model girl of everyone's dreams. She forgot the rest of the world when she was sleeping. She couldn't do that when she was awake.

Like after the party on the yacht. He had slept with her head on his chest, her fingers dancing across his chest, and he had felt so...warm. He woke up the next morning to the most beautiful face he had ever seen lying in his neck. It was heaven. She looked so...delicate, so perfect, so safe. She woke up a few minutes later, though, and then she was running so that no one would find out she spent the night.

He wondered if she was drinking again. She had been drinking then, but on the days surrounding the yacht party. She had been too happy to have time to drink. Ryan wondered if she would ever be that happy again.

And then sometimes he wondered if she loved him. If she knew him at all.

Lindsay was...different. She didn't want to be saved, or even taken care of. It had been...refreshing. Ryan was so used to taking care of everyone, and it was just...exhausting sometimes. Between worrying about his mother, Seth, Kirsten, Sandy, Summer...Marissa. He didn't want to worry anymore.

Marissa didn't like Lindsay. That was obvious from the first time they had...well, talked to each other. Lindsay didn't like Marissa either. She said she was intimidated, but Ryan knew the truth. She just didn't like her. Marissa wasn't the kind of girl Lindsay ever surrounded herself with. Marissa could have grown to deal with Lindsay; maybe she could've been one of those girls Marissa would like to keep around to make her feel better about her life. Summer wasn't helping that cause anymore.

Ryan could see the change that went through Marissa when Summer went back to Seth. Marissa was trying to look happier, trying to hang out with Summer more. Ignoring Alex.

Ryan never really knew Alex. When she had been with Seth, he had been Seth's brother. And when she had been with Marissa...well, it was pretty obvious what he was to her then.

But he still wanted to get to know Alex because she was so important to Seth. And Marissa. Maybe she and Ryan could've even been friends. From what he heard about her, they seemed kind of similar. Not ready to trust, willing to dominate in a relationship, still vulnerable sometimes, comforted by having Seth around, broken by Marissa.

He couldn't believe it when Marissa, Lindsay, and Alex had all collided. He wished sometimes that Summer hadn't left the three of them alone. Summer had a way of being extremely intimidating, but she always tries to show she cares. Granted, it was harder for her to care about girls, because, not to be dirty, but she couldn't get anything out of them. Okay, maybe that was a little dirty. But Ryan knew it was easier to give in to members opposite sex.

But Summer was a good friend for Marissa, and she would probably try to be friendly with Lindsay. She really was good for Marissa. She could call her on problems, and Marissa seemed to actually hear what she was saying. When Ryan said it, she would just kiss him and laugh it off. It was never something that should've been laughed off.

Ryan sometimes seriously just wanted to be heard.

It was actually pretty ironic that Marissa and Seth didn't get along that well, because they really enjoyed doing the same things. It's not that either of them was selfish, it was just they...seemed to always have a main focus.

And Ryan loved both of them, in some sort of way, although he didn't like talking about either of those...loves. It was just awkward with Seth, and Marissa...that was supposed to be over. He had actually never told her how much a big deal that had been for him. Like, because Theresa, well, he had only told her that he loved her four times, two of them when he had been eight. And Seth, well, he still found it weird hugging Seth.

Marissa, she just...she didn't have time for things that didn't deal with her. He would've told her about Theresa and his feelings and all of that, but he mentioned Chino, and Marissa stiffened and changed the subject. She wasn't interested. And he definitely was not about to force stories about childhood or whatever on her.

That was one thing that bothered him. People saying he never talked. He used to be with Seth and Marissa all day, what was he _supposed_ to do? He really did miss Lindsay sometimes; at least he got two words in around her.

But he wasn't bitter. Seth was Seth, so he forgave that. Marissa...it used to bother him a lot around the whole D.J., Lindsay drunk events. He really started resenting her. But later, he started feeling bad about that, which made it even worse when he got mad at her. It shouldn't be so hard to do all of this.

She had to realize that if they were even going to be friends, she had to...just...get better. And it seemed harsh to say, but he needed something stable to keep _him_ stable.

But she was beautiful.

Not just beautiful, breathtaking. All over. Her face, her hair, her lips, her smile, her eyes. God, her eyes. They bored into him and made him think she really might be perfect for him. Maybe she was worth all of it. She could tell him stories with her eyes.

And sometimes, he still wanted to listen.


	4. Seth

_I really liked this story, and I'm so sorry it took forever for this last chapter to come out. Originally, this chapter was going to be the longest of them all, because I really am fascinated by the Seth/Marissa relationship, not necessarily in a romantic way. It turned out okay, but I cut a lot of it, because it kind of rambled aimlessly for a while. The Sex Pistols in all their greatness own 'Pretty Vacant,' and I had a small shoutout to American Beauty with the 'ten thousand of your babies' comment. And then there's The O.C. So yeah. Thanks for reading._

It was actually pretty ironic that the dumb, smartass, sarcastic, skinny, queer, girly, loser of a kid was the one who actually knew the beautiful, graceful, sweet, articulate, pop-_you_-lore, impossible to really dislike, delicate girl better than most people. Better than the people that thought they knew, anyways.

Maybe it was the whole 'misunderstood' bullshit. Maybe it was the fact that he had had her next door for years and had countless dinners and board game plays with her family. But maybe it was knowing that she had been completely disappointed that he was her neighbor and had the nerve to not be blonde and named Dawson Leery.

But it was true. He knew her. Marissa Cooper knew it. Summer had met her only in the third grade, and Ryan didn't even know the outer shell. Seth Cohen had been there through _everything,_ no matter how much he regretted it. He even remembered the first day he had seen her. Spring. 1994. Kurt Cobain had actually just died six days ago, but Seth only knew one Nirvana song, so he didn't really care. His mom had this really weird smile on his face and her hand on his neck. It was really hot, and he _really_ didn't want her hand on his skin, but she was his mom. And Marissa had been in a white sundress with a yellow hat, and she hadn't even broken a sweat with her hand wrapped around her father's.

And then they were friends. For, like, a week. Then, Marissa started swimming lessons, and she didn't like playing tag anymore. Seth never got that. How someone could just stop liking something. Especially something as cool as tag.

But they still had to be around each other. There _had_ been that small incident in seventh grade where he had liked Marissa a _little_ for a very short period of time. The next week he realized the error in his ways and went back to idolizing Summer. But Marissa had been around, always around, so...well...he blamed his mother for that shameful period.

But it still surprised him when Ryan flounces into town and in five seconds throws the girl Seth had known forever into a total googly-eyed, I-want-to-have-like-ten-thousand-of-your-babies infatuation.

But it wasn't like he was jealous. Because...Marissa? Yeah, no. Never was his type. Too needy, too whiny, too into herself, too...chatty. And not matter how much Ryan liked her; he just didn't see how he could deal with someone like that all day long.

Summer told him to get over it. She said Marissa's been through a lot, and he knows that, and so he should have some sort of compassion for her. Summer was getting awful repetitive.

Not that he could ever say that to her face. He was terrified every second that he contested what she said that she was going to burst into tears and finally leave him. Marissa would be to blame. She was all they fought about. More than Zach, more than those blondes he always seemed to look at somehow. Marissa made him want to talk and scream and yell and curse and fall against the wall when Summer said he was being unreasonable. He hated fighting with her. She always looked like she was about to slap him. He wished he didn't have to do it. But Summer loved Marissa with all that she was. So, technically, a bit of Summer was because of Marissa. Probably the part that got mad at him when he wore shorts. So he tried to avoid the topic of Marissa and how much she really didn't understand when Summer was listening. Somehow, though, she always ended up on their lips.

And so he resented her. Marissa. He just wanted them to be happy again. All of them. Seth wanted it to be possible for them to watch French films, Marissa's choice, and cry and laugh and cuddle. Well, he and Summer could cuddle; Marissa and Ryan could just slip hands over each other's. It wasn't happening, though, and it wasn't easy, and it was frigging frustrating. Ryan was upset; that was obvious. He just sat around doing nothing basically all day after Lindsay left. Even while Lindsay was in Newport...just whenever she wasn't around. He needed to get a backbone. Not that Seth knew much about those.

But he was willing to ignore his screaming with Summer for Ryan to be happy. Ryan needed to be happy. If he wasn't...either things would happen, or nothing would happen. But Ryan wouldn't get any better, and it wouldn't be healthy for him. So something definitely had to be done and quick. Seth couldn't depend on _Marissa_ to do that, though. He couldn't trust _anyone_ whose favorite song was by ACDC.

Seth just hated people comparing him to Marissa. They were nothing alike. No matter how much they both whined or listened to music that whined, they were complete opposite people, and no one was willing to recognize that. Except maybe his dad. Seth never thought Sandy liked Marissa that much either. He knew he liked Summer, but he was always seeming like he was just dealing with Marissa because he knew so much about her family situation. And that definitely sucked, so if Seth had sympathy for _anyone_, it would have to be Marissa.

They had always been nice to him, though. Mr. Cooper knew he would have to majorly suck up to Seth if he wanted Seth to not spit on his shoes, considering how close Seth was to his dad, and how close Mr. Cooper had come to marrying Mrs. Cohen. Mrs. Cooper was just hot. Kaitlyn had used to really like him, but she got older, and henceforth, too cool for him.

But no matter how much Seth wasn't happy with the Coopers and their pride and joy, he knew Marissa wasn't happy with herself. She wasn't ever really happy with everyone else, either, but Seth knew she didn't think she was as cool as other people thought she thought she was. Her entire life was like an excerpt from a self help book. Popular girls, non popular girls, freaks, geeks, people that didn't deserve to be in her realm. But the secret was, Marissa didn't even think she belonged in any sort of realm.

Sometimes he felt sorry for her because it was so hard not to. Sometimes he just wanted her to get over herself. Sometimes he just wanted her to like him.

Because she was still beautiful. And popular. And sweet. And she wasn't completely dumb. And she seemed to be able to get anyone to do anything for her. And while Seth made fun of her and bitched about her, he knew he still wanted to be accepted, and Marissa was sort of a representative of the people he'd never be. Maybe he was jealous of her.

But maybe she really was just pretty vacant of any sort of emotion.


End file.
